


Darkness

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Pre-TFA Tidbits [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Guilt, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, inner conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 05:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11411046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After a nightmare, Kylo Ren consults his grandfather's helmet for guidance.





	Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Dreams and Nightmares
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

 He would be lying if he said that he didn't have nightmares, but it's the sort of lie that makes him wish it were true.

Frequently, he can't help but wake up in a cold sweat, shivering, shaking, trying not to scream, and he can't get back to sleep. This is one of those nights. Kylo looks around his room, looks about it, and he sees plainly that it's his quarters, and his quarters alone. He's not on the battlefield. The beings in his dreams aren't really there. They're just fragments of a troubled mind.

He can't say that it's really any comfort, though.

Indeed, even sitting up, he can still hear his uncle's voice. " _You don't have to do this anymore, Ben_." He can still hear the pleas for mercy of those he cut down in the village. At this point, it's just one of many villages that he destroyed in the name of the First Order.

After all, weren't they enemies of the First Order? Didn't they deserve to die?

And yet the Light says otherwise.

The Light lies, as it always does.

The nightmares are just part of that Light.

He gets up in that moment and walks towards where his grandfather's helmet rests. It's a half-melted ruin, and yet there is something about it that is magnificent nonetheless. It is something that he's kept in his quarters after that one bounty hunter gave it to him because this is his heritage, this is what others tried so hard to keep from him, this is who he really is. This is who he was meant to be. He looks at the helmet and he can picture the splendor of his grandfather when he was wearing the helmet. Striking and grand, able to rally anyone with the sheer power of his conviction and commitment to the Empire.

Kylo can understand it too well. He knows full well that his life is the First Order, this is where he's always belonged. This is who he really is.

"Grandfather," he begins, his head bowed in reverence, "I am here."

There is no reply. Still, there is something about the presence of the helmet that is comforting nonetheless. Kylo continues. "I did my duty today on the battlefield, and yet I have doubts. Forgive me. I should not."

There is still no answer.

"Show me again, the power of the darkness, and I will let nothing stand in our way." This is, after all, Grandfather's mission as much as anyone else's. "Show me, Grandfather, and I will finish what you started."

There is no answer, not like the first time that Kylo Ren had been shown the power of the darkness. But there would be, one day. Kylo Ren would have to wait.

 

 


End file.
